According to the Office of National Statistics, in the UK there were 2.9 million lone parent families in 2020. As well as single fathers, many of these families are made up of single mothers. Financial practicalities like child maintenance payments are one issue, but there are other distinct challenges single mothers face in society today, despite the growing number of lone parent family units. We cover the top five.
1. Balancing work and life
As society changes, more and more women are working in top roles in the workplace. Despite the positive effects, it does create some challenges for working women with children. With a single household income, women can feel under strain to commit to long shifts and overtime to make ends meet and provide for their children as much as they possibly can. This can come at a cost of women feeling they don’t have enough quality time with their children.
2. Managing guilt
These circumstances can often lead to feelings of guilt. Guilt for not being constantly available to their children or work. It’s a virtually impossible set of circumstances and the blurry lines between working at home and in the office in recent years has arguably led to even greater time challenges for single working mothers. Some mothers may also feel guilty for not working more and choosing to spend time with their children. This constant cycle of guilt is important to address. Begin by making a promise to stop blaming yourself for matters out of your control. Focus on the good choices you have made and why you have made them. Remind yourself what is important and learn to say ‘no’ to things that don’t align with these values.
3. Dealing with finances
As well as work-related income, you may have other financial stresses as a single mother. Often, there can be problems related to maintenance payments from another parent, for example, receiving an amount that is too low, too infrequent, or not forthcoming at all. Sporadic payments can make it hard to manage your finances. Sometimes, your situation as a single mother can lead to debt and credit problems. According to research, this societal group is disproportionately affected by debt. If you haven’t already, fully audit your finances by tracking your monthly spend and seeing where you can eliminate or minimise regular expenses. Where you can, factor in small treats to reward yourself with budgeting control and research further money saving tips.
4. Pressure to find a partner
Due to external societal pressures, some single mothers may feel compelled to find a partner, or they may simply have the desire to find a loving relationship. However, dating can be a tricky area to navigate for single mothers. You may feel at an immediate disadvantage because your time is limited due to work and child responsibilities. The prospect of being rejected can also be off-putting. Before you sign up, make sure you are feeling confident and resilient enough to handle set-backs and some of the other issues that can go hand in hand with dating, like ghosting and being zombied. Considering the challenges that come with dating as a single mother, online dating can be a viable option to explore. Online dating provides a platform where you can browse through potential partners' profiles, communicate with them and arrange dates at your convenience. There are comprehensive reviews like eHarmony vs Match that help you learn about their advantages and drawbacks, features, and pricing of the platform. These in-depth reviews provide valuable insights that can assist you in making informed decisions about which app is right for you.
5. Lack of self-care
Finally, and importantly, one of the most challenging aspects of being a single mother is finding time for yourself. You’re already inundated with work and child related commitments leaving your own needs at the bottom of the list. But it is important to factor in time for yourself, and by doing so, you will have more energy and time for the other responsibilities and leisure/work activities. Your self-care could include taking a break from your phone, staying hydrated with plenty of water each day; getting in some fitness, even if it’s a 10-minute yoga session, a short run before work or a walk with your kids to school.
